Busyness
Filed under: Family Ministry, Leadership Callling, Life Balance, Personal Development, Time Management
I always recieve the highest evaluation scores when I speek on the subject of how to set personal priorities for own life. The major point of my presentation is that we are all overscheduled because of the wireless connected culture we live in today and we must find a way to say no to many of the things that are robbing us of the priorities we care about the most.
I use a time matrix diagram developed by Stephen Covey that divides all of our daily lives into four quadrants that are based on the two variables of urgency and importance. Everything that is urgent demands some action immediately and the things that are important may not.
If something is urgent and important then it should be done. It could be a doctor’s appointment personally or a major project at work that is due this week. Hopefully for most of us at least the majority of our day should be spent in this category.
The next area is all the things that are urgent but not important. The blackberry is screaming for attention, the inbox is full and there are meetings on the schedule. The problem here is that we have assumed that because something is urgent it must be important.
Another very unproductive area includes the things that are not urgent but they are not important either. The danger here is that when we get home in the evening we want to run away and hide with hours of meaningless T.V. or surfing the net.
The single most important category is the things that are not urgent but very important. This is where family, friends, faith and all of our important relationships reside. Most of the time our family and our friends will not demand our immediate attention but if we neglect them long enough they will move into the urgent category and we will all suffer the consequences.
The only way to find time for the things that really matter is to stop doing so many of the things that really don’t.
Leaving Legacy
Filed under: Core Values, Family Ministry, Life Balance, Marriage, Personal Development
The real question is not will you leave a legacy but what kind will it be? An even more important question is what do you want it to be?
It is amazing how proficient we have become in establishing clear and attainable goals in the business sector. We can break down our plans into daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, annual, and beyond to ensure that we accomplish what we have determined is important.
I am convinced the reason we do not give the same amount of passion and excellence to our private lives is that we have never taken the time to define what is really important. This lack of prioritization leads to a hope it all works out mentality that would not last for one week in the hit your numbers or else corporate sector.
Most people I have talked with over the years will tell you that in the end the personal part of their life that includes family and friends is really more important to them than the public part. If so, then why this huge disconnect?
It all goes back to understanding Covey’s time matrix in Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Almost everything in our public lives fits into the urgent category. They demand that we respond even though many of the things we do every day are not really important at all.
The people we care about the most fit into an important category that is not urgent. Ball games, piano recitals and dates with your spouse will not scream in your face but they are the things that make up your legacy.
Don’t wait for the heart attack or cancer, have the courage to take a major time out and define in very specific terms what really matters so that in the end you will leave this world a better place than you found it.
Calendars and Checkbooks
Filed under: Core Values, Financial Stewardship, Life Balance, Personal Development
We all want to accomplish the things that are really important in life and learn the discipline to walk away from everything else. Most of us have not taken the time to write down specific goals in a life plan that involves everything personal, family, faith, friends and our professional lives.
So how do we know if we are just filling our schedules with things to do without any serious evaluation or if those are the things that should even be done at all? We don’t want to get to the end of our lives and look back realizing that a lot of our time was totally wasted on things that don’t really matter.
A great place to start is to evaluate how we are spending our time and our money. Calendars can tell us a lot about our core values and priorities because they reflect the choices we are making. No doubt some of our time is not our own to schedule but how we are spending a large percentage of it reflects what is really a priority and what is not.
Are you making time for the people and relationships that you care about the most or are they getting the leftovers at best? If you really want to know take the time to track how you are spending your time for at least a month. You will be amazed how much of it is scheduled based on what appears to be urgent at the time but in the end is not really important at all.
The next big indicator of what is a priority in our lives is to look at how we are spending our finances. If we are living beyond our means and accumulating unnecessary debt then we have a major character problem that must be addressed.
More stress is brought into marriage by this one area than almost anything else. The only solution is again to write down a budget that includes all of your expenses and then have the discipline to post all your transactions and make necessary adjustments to live within your income.
You may think this sounds like way too much work to me and I am already busy enough. Trust me you are already using calendars and checkbooks anyway but you may not be gaining any of the benefits of leading your life instead of just letting it happen.
The Role Of Contentment In Simple Living
Filed under: Core Values, Financial Stewardship, Life Balance, Personal Development, Physical Fitness
We are reminded in scripture that we brought nothing into this world and it is certain that we can take nothing out when we leave therefore having food and clothing we should be content. This does not mean we should all take a vow of poverty and live in a monastery.
We have all been given gifts and talents and we should with passion and excellence use them to the best of our ability to impact the world for good. The point is that regardless of wealth or poverty we should learn to lead a life that is not driven by things that don’t really matter.
In Richard Swenson great book on Margin he list several characteristics of simple living that are helpful:
1. Voluntary—If the simple life is forced, it ceases to be simple. This is a choice based on core values not something that is demanded.
2. Free—One of the key features of simplicity and at the same time, one of its principal advantages is that it is a life of freedom. It is being controlled by that which is life-giving and refusing to be controlled by that which is destructive.
3. Uncluttered—Emotionally we release our worries, we reconcile our relationships, we forgive our enemies and we begin anew each day.
4. Creative—Life is not boring just because it is simple. Simplicity sets the imagination free to work and to enjoy.
5. Authentic—A simple lifestyle must distinguish between the spiritually authentic and spiritually inauthentic. Biblical authenticity includes those things God has told us to focus on, those things that have eternal, God-assigned value: people, love, service, worship, prayer, self-denial, relationships, contentment, freedom, and rest.
6. Disciplined—Restraint is necessary for successful living, and all the more for simple living. Comfort is not a legitimate primary goal—authenticity is.
All Christians have made peace with God through their faith in Jesus Christ but all Christians do not live on a daily basis with the peace of God. This kind of peace only comes as the fruit of a contented life.
The Nostalgia Of The Past
Most of us are over scheduled and have way too much stress in our lives. As a reaction to the pressure of the present we often find ourselves looking back and longing for a time when life was simpler and slower than it is today.
What we selectively seem to forget is that the past had its own set of problems and even though things may have been slower that does not mean they were better. When we live in the past we also are blinded to the blessings of the present and are not able to enjoy what we have that is good in our lives.
In Richard Swenson’s book entitled Margin he deals with this romantic mentality of turning back the clock to a better time. He writes, “The analogy of a clock is not helpful. It is not the question of a clock, but a compass. The issue is not chronology, but direction.”
It is impossible to create more time in any given day. With that reality clearly in mind then we are only left with two options. We must know what is important each and every day and make sure those are the things that get done.
What is not so clear is that this does not mean adding these important things to an already full calendar. The ability to know what to say no to on a moment by moment basis is the only way we will have the emotional, spiritual and physical margin we need to live today without regrets.
Clocks can only tell you what time it is while your personal compass can tell you what to do with your time. Big Difference!!!!!!!
Work-Life Balance
Filed under: Core Values, Family Ministry, Life Balance, Marriage, Personal Development
If there has ever been a day when the demands of work and home have been greater I am not aware of it. The sheer pace of life today leaves us emotionally and physically worn out and feeling empty at the end of most days.
Technology keeps us connected all the time and people in the workplace culture almost demand that we stay available 24-7. Our families are all running on the same high speed treadmill that produces stress in every area of our lives.
There are several key principles that must be in place if you want to create margin for the people and priorities that you care about the most:
1. Lead Yourself First—it is impossible to successfully help lead other people at work or in the home if you are not able to accomplish what is most important in your own life. You should set specific goals in the areas of health, personal development and faith with the necessary time allotment to make sure they get done.
2. Prioritize Your Family Next—at the end of your life it will not matter how much professional success you have had if you consistently neglected your role as a spouse and parent. There are no guarantees that time alone will produce a great marriage and character driven children but without it there is a high probability that both areas could fail.
3. Choose Right Career—most organizations are looking for people who will perform and improve their bottom line. However there is a growing awareness that if you want to attract and keep the best people you have to give some deference to work-life balance. The key is you have to be outstanding at what you do and you have to be in a culture that will reward that effort by giving you more time off and not more projects to accomplish.
4. Develop Life Plan—it never ceases to amaze me that some of the most effective leaders in the corporate arena do not practice any of the leadership disciplines that made them successful in their home and personal life. The can lead multi-million dollar projects from start to finish at work but not take more than 30 minutes to plan the annual family vacation.
When you develop a total life plan with goals and strategies for everything personal, private and public you just assumed the C.E.O. leadership role for your whole life. You will never have a more important job.
Lessons From Michael Jackson
Filed under: Core Values, Financial Stewardship, Life Balance, Personal Development
We have all been affected by the sudden death of Michael Jackson in different ways. Some of us feel compassion for the children who are left behind to grow up in the huge shadow of their father. Others are feeling regret for such a waste of a very talented person who lost so much of what really matters during his life.
Most of us will never have to deal with all of the things that Michael did that come with being a famous celebrity who earns millions of dollars in income. However we all have to deal with the life issues that he faced:
1. Resolve Past Hurts—if you do not deal with the pain from when people close to you have failed you when you were growing up then you will surely carry those open wounds into adulthood. The tragedy for all of us is when the core issues that we are dealing with as adults are really problems that surfaced many years ago but were never appropriately resolved.
2. Trust Right People—show me who your friends are and I can tell you a lot about your character. The temptation for all of us is to surround ourselves with people who tell us all that we want to hear but they really don’t care enough to tell us the truth. These people make us feel good for the moment but leave us eventually broken and empty when the fun runs out.
3. Develop Core Values—there is no doubt in my mind that many times Michael wanted to do the right thing and really wanted to help people. When you don’t have a solid foundation to build on you will consistently make very bad decisions that seem extremely inconsistent with whom you want to be as a person.
4. Decide How Much Is Enough—driven people are never satisfied because they are trying to satisfy their deepest needs with things that can never bring real peace and fulfillment in life. If you are not content with what you have now there is no reason to believe you will be in the future regardless of how much you get.
Michael Jackson’s legacy will be a hotly debated subject for years to come. Some only see the bad and others refuse to say anything was wrong at all. Will the people closest to you be debating your legacy when you are gone or will they all agree it was a life well spent.
Corporate Shepherd
Filed under: Leadership Callling, Leading Change, Life Balance, Personal Development, Servant Leader
There are many leaders today that want to move beyond just making a profit to really making a difference. They want to be successful and that’s great but they also want the significance that only comes from adding value to other people.
When leadership is approached from a Christian perspective a new model starts to develop where the leader becomes more of a shepherd to their people than a boss to their employees. They do care about performance and productivity but they also feel responsible for developing alignment around core values and creating the right culture for work-life balance for their people.
They also see life beyond the immediate pressures of planning, project management, staffing, goal setting and execution. The legacy they want to create for their life and organization includes eternal metrics that must be included when talking about the ultimate bottom line.
The clear plan for every Christian is to use your professional life as a platform for ministry because we are all in full time Christian service. Our lives should no longer be seen as segmented into faith, family, friends, recreation and entertainment but become totally integrated into being one life on mission for God. The various roles that we fulfill are no longer competing with each other but complimenting the calling God has for our lives.
In the end there is only one performance review that really matters. The evaluation criteria is simple, How faithful were you with all that I entrusted to your care? Thinking about that moment should overwhelm us with gratitude and give us a renewed sense of passion to hear well done my good and faithful servant.
Coaching
Filed under: Core Values, Leadership Callling, Life Balance, Personal Development, Personnel Development, Servant Leader
If you need help in making some major decisions in your life coaching may be exactly what you need. There are many types of coaches available from executive, life, fitness and even spiritual.
The one major thing you need to understand about coaching is that it is not counseling or therapy. The major focus will not be your past and the things that have gone wrong but the future and how you want it to look.
Great coaches don’t have the answers to all your questions. Their role is to help you by knowing how to ask the right questions so you can see why you may be stuck and what your options are as you move forward.
A coach might ask, What is the one major area in your life you would like to change that would improve your life? Then, What do you want that area to look like six months from now? Finally, What do you need to do this week to start closing that gap?
Another important aspect of coaching is accountability. It really helps when you have someone who is on your side and offers the necessary what do you want to accomplish before our next time together type questions.
With this accountability comes encouragement that reminds you of what you said you wanted to do to change your life and gives you the confidence that you can make it happen.
My experience in using a coach was incredible. So what are you waiting for give them a no charge to you first call and see if it feels like a good fit.
The Importance of Knowing Life Purpose
Filed under: Core Values, Family Ministry, Leadership Callling, Life Balance, Marriage, Personal Development, Time Management
In a day when our calendars are beyond full and yet our lives seem to be empty something has gone wrong. We in many cases have assumed because we are busy the things we are doing must be important.
We clearly have shifted the focus from being as a person to doing and what we are able to accomplish. Technology has helped us in many cases simply to do the wrong things faster.
The great paradoxes of our time have been summed up well by the Dalai Lama:
“We have more conveniences, but less time.
We have more degrees, but less sense…more knowledge but less judgment.
More experts, but more problems.
More medicines, but less healthiness.
We have been all the way to the moon and back but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor.
We build more computers to hold more information that produce more copies than ever before, but have less communication.
We have become long on quantity, but short on quality.
These are the times of fast foods but weak digestion.
It is a time when there is much in the window but nothing in the room.”
For many of us we have been living the script for our lives that were given to us by someone else; parents, peers, friends or the culture we live in. The time has come for us to have the courage to say no and the passion to write our own.